By Abby Stilwell 

All sports, hobbies, and passions come with their ups and downs — but for equestrians, the ride often feels more like a full-blown roller coaster, complete with higher highs, deeper lows, and plenty of unexpected twists, sharp turns, and loop-the-loops. Much of this stems from the fact that the sport relies not only on the rider and their equipment, but also on a 1,200-pound living partner — one that, at times, seems determined to invent new and creative ways to injure itself. 

That’s the obvious explanation. But in the seven years since returning to horses, I’ve watched friends face overwhelming setbacks, and I’ve navigated more than a few of my own. Over time, I’ve reflected on these experiences and noticed a pattern. Many of the biggest challenges in this sport come down to two things — luck and money. Both, to some extent, are beyond our control. 

The view between the ears of my horse, Decker.  

And that realization brings me to understand that perseverance isn’t just helpful in the equestrian world, it’s essential. It’s why equestrians are known for their grit and determination. And perhaps why it’s wise not to underestimate a “horse girl” or a cowboy. 

If you have horses, you know that gut-wrenching feeling when your horse comes up lame, or you find them cut and bleeding, colicking, or they’re simply “off” enough to make you pull up mid-ride. And, almost without fail, these moments seem to arrive just as you have something exciting on the horizon — something you’ve been working toward for weeks, months, maybe even years. 

That’s what I mean about luck. 

Life is full of things outside our control, but with horses, it often feels amplified. And those examples only account for the horses themselves. They don’t include personal injuries, a truck that breaks down at the worst possible moment, a trailer that suddenly needs repairs, or pouring money into rebuilding your arena after a spring melt washes away all the footing. (Okay, that last one might be a little specific to me, but you get the idea.) So much of what we’re able to do in this sport rides on luck. 

Then there’s money or, more accurately, the lack of it. 

No matter the discipline, horses are expensive. Whether you’re competing or simply riding for the love of it, the costs add up quickly. Feed, veterinary and farrier care, tack… everything seems to come with a growing price tag. For most equestrians, finances inevitably shape what we can and cannot do in pursuit of our goals. And since money doesn’t grow on any trees I’ve managed to find, it would be easy to throw up your hands and walk away — especially when your family starts pointing fingers at you (and your horses) as the reason the bank account is running on fumes. (Again… maybe that one’s just me.) 

My niece coming in for a hug at the end of my ride. 

And yet, most equestrians don’t quit. Even when luck runs dry and money is tight, we keep going. 

So why is that? Are we crazy? Irrational? Maybe a little. But more than anything, we’re hooked. 

Horses demand and develop grit and determination like nothing else. Because when it all comes together, when you truly connect with your horse, there is simply no feeling like it. It’s hard to explain to anyone who hasn’t experienced it, but it reaches somewhere deep down in your soul. Being around horses creates a shift, a sense of calm, connection, and communication without words. It’s something you feel in your body as much as in your heart. 

Horses have a powerful pull: undeniably expensive, occasionally painful, but capable of delivering the highest of highs. Those moments carry you through the setbacks, the frustration, and sometimes even through the blood, sweat, and tears. 

So, when your luck runs out and your bank account insists you should sell everything and walk away, you don’t. 

You get back on. 

Because perseverance isn’t just part of being an equestrian — it defines us.

More from North Country Equestrian with Abby Stilwell

Main Photo: My horse, Destin. All photos are courtesy of Abby Stilwell.